Hugs are very different. Hugs are based on FEELINGS, which can take MONTHS to return. Patience is called for.
Marital commitment is a DECISION. mdu is right to insist that her husband -- having expressed WORDS that he wants to make it work -- show ACTIONS that show commitment to begin working on the marriage.
I will admit that such insistence could also drive him away, if he's not ready for such a commitment. For me, I was okay with that. My wife's feelings took several months to begin to come back, and nearly TWO YEARS to fully return. However, she did several other things to show her COMMITMENT to the marriage. A Retrovaille weekend. MCing with me. Full transparency. A no-contact letter to her OM. She probably didn't FEEL like doing ANY of those things. But they were boundaries for me, she understood that clearly, and -- to her credit -- she stepped up to the plate.
I think if mdu raised the bar, mr. mdu would respond positively.
