1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 5

[mdu]

I agree that my lack of consistency is my reactions to him is a factor. But I also think that a huge factor (I think bigger) is OW now in his face at the office. And I just don't see how we're going to overcome that. I had hoped that her close presence would somehow make it all more 'real' and maybe make him feel pressure and kill some feelings but apparently that's not the case. I am really disheartened and don't know how we will ever deal with this except for H leaving the company which he won't do. I suppose I could force his hand and perhaps he would agree to find another job but that would take time regardless (quitting without something else in place just seems foolish) and I suspect he would resent the heck out of it.

I would feel better if we were at least going to MC or Retrouvaille or something to actually be working on the M. At least that would feel like some sort of real progress to me and then maybe we could talk more frankly about this work situation.

I get the sense that he's waiting for feelings which just aren't going to come consistently any time soon, esp with OW in his face (I suspect they come sparatically when he warms to me). I am frustrated because I believe he just needs to commit, regardless of how he *feels* right now.

I hate this mess. Yes, we had some serious M issues but OW makes it impossible.