Your sitch sounds very similar to mine but in a better spot honestly. I see a ton of positive here. She is not in an A and your interactions with her are improving. My interactions with my W have been far better, but she is still deep in the fog of the A. I feel like my W and I are back to where we were in June when she asked for the D. She is now distant, somewhat rude to me and just a complete alien to me. I would keep doing what you are doing because it seems to be working.
Me: 40, W: 40 M: 15, T: 18 D - 10, S - 7 D announcement 6/7/2014 A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W) Still living together and sharing same bed