More confused than ever

[woundedfool]

I've explained that it's not that easy for me. He says he understands but just doesn't know what to do besides give it and me time.

That is just it, he needs to do the "right" things consistently moving forward.

I am back and forth on the moving in thing. I don't know that I will wait months but I will wait for counseling and see how the first month of counseling goes before I can really make my decision. I'm working hard to forgive so that we can move forward because I think that's what's really holding me up.

How about moving forward, without moving.... by that I mean, tell him your GOAL is to have him move back in, but you both need the time to process and heal. Furthermore, it needs to be for the right reasons (not just the financial side).

I would love to spend all 4 of my days off with him and the boys. He wants to have a date night tomorrow night. I'm just looking to you guys if this is too much if I should separate myself maybe one of the days.

Nope that is entirely up to you. Do what feels natural/organic.

Another big thing for me is --- nothing changed in our relationship that he was unhappy about or so he says he was unhappy about. I really just DB'd as much as I could as far as being nice but for him it was me going dark, GAL and just being genuinely happy during our short infrequent interactions. So what changed? He says he just saw that he covered our problems with someone else. And it took him getting away from that entire family and situation to have time to think to himself to realize what the F am I doing.

All good answers, in fact... those are many of the things that MWD preaches in the books: You moved out of the way, he discovered YOU may have not been the reason for his unhappiness.

But.... LOTS have changed, YOU have changed, you have discovered a tough, independent woman, who knows she will be "fine" with out without anyone else.