First post - My WAH story

[Jacket]

I objected, not because I thought she needed to know that H initiated the separation, but because I didn't want her to be comforted with information that was not true. In the end, we compromised with, "It's no one's fault."

Elsa, thank you for this. You articulated what I have not been able to put into words. I don't want people to be given information that is not true, because I do not want people to feel like they should be pushing us to divorce as if it is what we both want. That is how H's email comes across and what I disagree with so strongly.

But, if these are mutual friends, and you are sincere in your request that they not choose sides, I don't know that I would want to say in the email that H is the one who initiated the D. That seems like the kind of personal detail that you're trying to avoid by taking out the reference to MC, you know?

Ultimately, regardless of what's said in this joint email, you're going to tell your friends your truth and he's going to tell them his. I'd use neutral language in the email and then share what I wanted to share with people individually.

Thank you for this as well. I realize that I am still really angry about the whole thing and I still want him to shoulder the blame for walking away, but I need to let that go and ultimately it does not need to be stated in this email. And you're right, our truths will each come out when we talk to people, assuming they reach out to us. I don't think I will pursue our mutual friends to tell them about the whole thing unless they ask. I've already told all the people who are the most important to me and they are supporting me the way I need to be supported.