Yes, your Mr. Gritty and my GUBU are probably doing live chats on HOWTOMAKEYOURWIFECRAZY.com!
They certainly are pulling some of the same craziness.
The angry texts interspersed with normal, or even nice stuff.
GUBU blamed his last bout of nastiness on "driving". Since when did driving make you say mean things? And you're not supposed to be texting while driving anyway!
The email about Mr. Gritty's "Victimization" by your circumstances was too much! I know it's horrible, but you almost have to laugh. It is so nutty!
And the "friends" who keep telling him he needs to "get over his guilt." Yes. They are SO helpful, giving advice about things they know nothing about.
Our H's will listen to anyone who tells them what they want to hear. If they are wise to the real situation and are trying to give him a clue, as Shakspr said, he will twist it to fit his own agenda.
Good for you for doing the coaching and keeping your cool. (And looking great!) It's SO hard.
Mr. Gritty will get angry whenever things don't go his way. Or because of global warming, the plight of the honeybees... whatever.
He will get angry at YOU when you don't act in the ways he anticipated. When you don't give him the ammo he wants in order to blame you and distance himself emotionally from you.
After all, he doesn't know about having NO EXPECTATIONS.
Your failure to meet his expectations is p*ssing him off!
In the past, that might have worked against you. Now it's working FOR YOU.
It's really hard to argue with someone who *appears* to be agreeing with you, who is calm, pleasant, an eager listener... and who looks great and smells even better. And who is of the "fairer" sex.
Granted, we have to overcome their negatively weighted historical perception of us, but at the very least, we can make them question that perception.
Stay strong!
---GGG
PS: GUBU used to be a great guy too, (with the exception of his little "online problem"). Everybody loved my H; he was sociable, a real good samaritan, of sterling character. Loyal and caring. That's why I married him. This GUBU guy is a real piece of work!
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
