I'm very sorry, Shodan. I've been there, and yeah -- the deceit rips your guts out even more than the infidelity does, believe it or not. Until someone goes thru this they cannot even begin to understand how much the DECEIT and the DISRESPECT eats at a man.
My advice would be for you to go back and read the "tougher/stronger" advice you got at the beginning of your threads. You chose to go the "kinder/gentler," continue-to-show-her-the-new-and-improved-Shodan route, and she's rewarded your efforts by continuing her deceit and gaslighting you and the family to boot.
It's high time for after-the-LRT. It may or may not work with her, but the foot-rubbing route certainly hasn't.
You're a good man, Sho -- you deserve more than this. I pray you can turn this around. I do think she still loves you, down at some level, but she's pretty fueled up with resentment and entitlement still.
