I am the prize

[daring]

Quick update- not much to report but need to vent just a little bit....

I've been working like crazy so didn't get home until late last night. H didn't mention the " text R talk" at all and I just left everything alone as well.
After bringing kids back from dinner he said he had to go to his house and clean and pack b/c they are doing an inspection on Fri. He said he figured they will let him know if he needs to move out this weekend. ( he's got a month left on lease but trying to get out early since he has no job now, they keep going back and forth).

I said " ok do we need to make some plans for you?", he said " I have no plan. I figure I have so much travel over the next 6 months for speaking engagements and potential consulting work I might not need a plan."

Oh really? So you have no home, no job, if I hadn't kept all our accounts joint right now you would also have no way to eat or front some of your travel until you get reimbursed, ( to be fair he is being frugal though) but it's ok to not have a plan and have me to fall back on even though you have disrupted our whole household and lives.....

But don't worry- I said none of that- I said " oh, ok". And then STFU.

It's not my nature to truly pull the rug out from under him, though in a very hurt state I may say or do something like that temporarily. I have grown and know that doing those things only hurts me, and I actually feel a little guilty for having these feelings, but I'm frustrated and low on reserve since I'm working MORE than usual to try and pay down our back taxes. I need some grown up support for my own stresses too!

There are some days it seems like he wants to come home but is scared. At least he's not trying to run away anymore, he's just avoiding.
I'll just add him to the list of teenagers in my life for now and hope he keeps moving forward slowly.....