barely holding on - 3

[u-turn]

Thanks ss:
I feel that I have a great bond with my kids - I wish things were better for them. They have always taught me as much as I have taught them.

I haven't approached the subject too much w/ D14 she doesn't want to talk about it and W takes her shopping so "all is good". D14 just thinks I beat myself up too much. If the kids knew what was actually going on, they would be devastated - they too thought we had a "perfect" family compared to many of their friends. So with my new found PMA I hope to help the kids get through this more.

Thanks Shakspr:
I feel much better and think I am doing better than when I started here - I probably shouldn't sound so hopeless - I do have hope. (trying to be the lighthouse).

I really appreciate your kind words.