6 Months Down the Line

[Maybell]

Vossy, I have several friends who had first marriages with no kids (kids came with the second marriage). Every one of them said that moving out was the hardest thing they've ever done. Most of them are still in touch with the ex, even happily married and with kids in the current marriage. The ones who aren't were basically rescued from abusive relationships, which clearly isn't the case here. When they talk about their exes it is clear there is a place in their hearts reserved for those people -- and without exception they are the ones who walked away, not the ex.

My point is... Kids are an excuse to be in contact, not a reason. When my H and I interact only about the kids, it feels like no contact because it's just a business exchange. Your ex has reason to contact you, even without kids and without finances. That reason is you. A long relationship leaves a mark, no matter what.

I don't know what you should do about NC and the wedding. I can barely navigate my own situation. but if you think it's the right choice for you and the only thing stopping you is fear, that fear may not have as much substance as you think.

Whatever you decide to do, do it with confidence.