I was doing so good

[PeterV2]

Let me chime in a bit here. First of all, I agree that she's not out to get you. She's just trying to fulfill the emotional needs that you failed to meet. After reading Willard Harley's His Needs Her Needs and Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages I realized the communications breakdown that lead to the failing of our marriage. I will be preparing a lengthy written apology for my part in the breakdown of our marriage which lead to her walking away into an A. I will not only take responsibility for my role in the failure, but apologize and ask for forgiveness. Then it's all in her court. She is the only one who can control herself. I have no control over her. I can only state my case and then back off and let her absorb the info. I'll be posting that apology letter on my thread when it's written.
Secondly, dawgy, regarding snooping: STOP IT. (2x4!!)
I know it does us no good and it's so hard not to do it. We're all guilty of doing it to our own detriment. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back with the program. Detach. improve, learn, be happy, care for your kids. Ignore the turmoil on the other side of your life. She has to deal with her own self-created hell on her own terms. Your nosing into it only confounds the resolution. Criky I know it's hard. I just pray that your WAWs all start seeing the light soon. We're just a bunch of LBSs that are trying our darnedest to save our marriages - by ourselves. It's a noble cause. Let's be proud of that and take some deep breaths. Get into the Zen mode and let the world unfold as it must in its own sweet time.
In the meantime, there's so much to learn. I find myself doing critical analyses of my own psyche to flush out any shortcomings that rear their ugly heads. It's an epic battle. And I do believe a fair maiden awaits at the end after the dragons are slain.
Keep your heads up and keep your broadsword firmly in your grip. This challenge is not over. Not for a long time.