Those are great things to work on and you CAN do them!
Responding to him when he gets angry is useless because he's LOOKING for a reason to fire back at you. Don't engage. Say, "we can resume this conversation when you're calm and levelheaded." or something like that. If you put your foot down about that he'll be PISSED at first but he will learn he can't treat you like that if he wants to say wants to say. One step at a time.
Remember, we teach people how to treat us. So teach him you're unwilling to put up with disrespect in ANY form. It is unacceptable.
