You're right, that's a risk but you're worth that risk. Right now you're a crutch and that's all. You deserve more than that. SO MUCH MORE! If you wanted to be buddies and chit chat every 2 weeks via email then you wouldn't be here on this site. You want a relationship, love, cherishing, perhaps marriage? Yet here you two are writing emails to each other with nothing more than "hey, went to that wedding, had a good time, how's the freelance stuff?" Nope. Not gonna work.
During this NC period (are you committing?) perhaps you can formulate an email in your head that is brief and direct that basically says, "it's been real and it's been fun but I'm looking for love and I deserve that".
Him dropping off the planet WOULD be hard and I recognize that fully. Don't do anything you're not ready to do but when you decide, commit. Have no expectations and do it for YOU!
