Seems you are fighting between wanting to be there for her and not wanting to be treated like a door mat.
I dont think its that, more about being used, and tossed aside after she gets what she wants
About right?
Here's the thing. She is in pain. You may not have caused it, but it is what it is. She knows that. She articulated that to you.
Basically, this isn't about you.
While you know that, you're fighting feeling like you are being used (ego).
Have you read the welcome threads from Cadet, yet? Might be useful to you.
While you're doing that, can I just say that you have to figure out what you want? You have to figure out what you'll accept and what you won't to the point you don't look back.
Thats the hard part, I know what I want .. but I kno win order to get that I can only do so much. At som point she has to be willing aswell, without feeling like she is being held hostage.
For perspective: Being there for her is a way to stay connected. That's something not everyone gets a chance to do in this forum. That doesn't mean you'll save your marriage. It's about the relationship whether married or not. I understand that ... but I think at some point she needs to know what it will be like if we D and I am not longer there for her, evidently the OM is not there for her in that way, I know it sounds strange but in a way I think this has been a wake up call for her.
What do YOU want and what are you willing to live with long-term?
Many of us have been where you are. Keep posting and you'll get some good advice and a great sounding board.
AJ
I have endured more than I ever thought I would ... Her leaving, the destruction of the only family I have ever known, being called on a Sunday to be there at the Dr Office on monday to discover she contracted an STD from OM, having to be told during her crazy stages about the sex she had with him after we had not had sex in 3 years due to "medical condidtions"
So yeah.. at some point something has to give. I am at the end of my rope .. making LRT a bit easier .. as either the marriage is saved or I walk and start living my life
