Ok, I'm loving everything you're saying about being YOU again. Congrats on the freelance stuff, that's hard to come by. Good for you! Finding your strength despite your fear says a lot about you as a person and as a woman. You are one heck of a woman, Vossy. I can see that!
As for #1... let's get over the rudeness of it, shall we? These emails as buddies while you're hoping for more is not working. My opinion is that you could send him a very simple, "Happy birthday, hope all your wishes come true. Yours, Vossy" and that is IT!!!!! Let him ask after you. Let him notice your lack of interest in what is going on. Let him notice that you're not forthcoming on what's going on with your life and the cool endeavors you're getting into are happening without him. Let him wonder.
