WAH - chapter 3

[Old Dog]

And if by some miracle, he should pull. You will be able to brush it off with your detaching skills (which he doesn't posses) and wonder which STD will be transmitted this time.

[pilot]

And if by some miracle, he should pull. You will be able to brush it off with your detaching skills (which he doesn't posses) and wonder which STD will be transmitted this time.

Hahaha @ OId Dog. Pull. I have not heard or used that term in a long long time. You made my day buddy!!!

And yea, I guess we can start a DB forum pool for Lisa's H on what shows up on his test at the clinic. Haha, sorry Lisa :P

[LisaB]

LOL that is horrible Old Dog and Pilot. Y'all are mean.

OK, thanks for the advice guys! I think I will indeed go to the party and I will pull. haha whatever that means. I think it is a super British term, my London friends use it. Love it. Thanks OD!

So, got a text message from WAH a few hours later "Was great seeing you. You look great!"

HAHAHA! What the f? A very unexpected and unusual message from him.

I look great? Duh. The best part was I wore jeans with holes, old sneakers and a tshirt, my hair in a ponytail. Sometimes that is hot though, I suppose. Effortless sexy as they would say in Cosmo.

Feeling good. All his stupid little sluts don't have anything on me.

Thanks everyone for your support. Big love and big hugs, LisaB

[Ss06]

What DOES pull mean? I need this explained!

Lisa,

I love that you weren't all fancy but he still took the time to tell you that you looked great. He didn't have to send that but he did.

Hang in there. Keep your PMA up!

[LisaB]

Thanks Ss!
Maybe OD can explain it better but I think "pull" means to attract someone to the point that they go home with you. As in "yeah I went out last night and I pulled this babe and we went to my place and did it" or "tonight I hope to pull" aka "get lucky".

I felt the message saying I looked great was totally surprising and bizarre, but I think following the advice of you all really works. And for that I thank you with all my heart. Even if I never reunite with my WAH, the advice I get here really helps my confidence and self-esteem. I feel I have an idea what to do, rather than just stumbling around in the dark by myself.

Y'all are the BEST!
Hugs, LisaB

[Jacket]

I think following the advice of you all really works. And for that I thank you with all my heart. Even if I never reunite with my WAH, the advice I get here really helps my confidence and self-esteem. I feel I have an idea what to do, rather than just stumbling around in the dark by myself.

Y'all are the BEST!

I could not second this more heartily.

[Ss06]

Got it! Thanks for the explanation, Lisa!

I agree with you about the advice received from here. Being in our situations is SO painful I can't see how I'd get through it without this board of MWD's books. Honestly, I don't want to think about the path my life would have gone without those things.

[Old Dog]

Maybe OD can explain it better but I think "pull" means to attract someone to the point that they go home with you. As in "yeah I went out last night and I pulled this babe and we went to my place and did it" or "tonight I hope to pull" aka "get lucky".

Nailed it!

You could also use 'score' or 'cop off'.

Not that I have ever used any of those terms. They're not derogatory as such, just common slang whn you're bragging with your mates - male or female.

[LisaB]

Hi all, just babbling some more.

Thinking a bit about the OW. Getting annoyed.

She doesn't want a relationship with him, but he wants one with her. So he feels a bit rejected. And yet they are still having sex, having dinners together, talking, being friends with benefits.

He is not with me, in part because of his feelings for her. But he is also not with her, and doesn't really expect to be with her in the future, although maybe he hopes it will happen. But he is still into her. And he is still with her as friends with benefits.

This seems like some kind of limbo to me.

Does their stupid half-assed relationship have to play out before he can come out of his fog? Is there anything I can do?

I know this is basically a rhetorical question as the only things I can do are GAL, PMA, NC, seem like I moved on...

Does anyone whose WAS was in an A want to weigh in with advice for me?

Hugs, LisaB

[pilot]

She doesn't want a relationship with him, but he wants one with her. So he feels a bit rejected. And yet they are still having sex, having dinners together, talking, being friends with benefits.

He is not with me, in part because of his feelings for her. But he is also not with her, and doesn't really expect to be with her in the future, although maybe he hopes it will happen. But he is still into her. And he is still with her as friends with benefits.

This seems like some kind of limbo to me.

Does their stupid half-assed relationship have to play out before he can come out of his fog? Is there anything I can do?


Hugs, LisaB

I feel like I am hogging your thread with replies

The simple answer is yes, you have to wait. Right now your H is finding out what it is like to be a LBS. He is learning he cannot have what he wants, and this in turn will make him want her more. I think I said before just because they are still having sex, dinners, etc. right now does not mean all things are peachy on that front. She could be looking for a way out, he could be pursuing extra hard, she may feel bad right now, she may feel annoyed. You simply do not know. All you do know is she does not want him long term, and he wants her long term. That usually is a death sentence for a relationship. All that is left is the execution. So in that regards, all of this is a positive. I am sure you do not see how having your H begging another woman for a relationship as a positive as I KNOW it hurts, but your H is finding out right now about the grass not being greener. Things are not as perfect as he thought they were going to be.

Now do not quote me in that his A is going to end soon. I merely think odds are it will but anything can happen.

Best thing you can do is NOT think about OW. I catch myself thinking about my W's affair at times and all it does is make me sick to think I would even want her back. All we do when we think of OW/OM/A is allow our emotions to dictate our feelings. We already know about OW/OM/A so why dwell on it? Just keep at your GAL and keep that PMA.

Remember, even when the A ends, that does NOT automatically mean your spouse will come running. If and when they do come out of that fog, they may be ridden with guilt and be afraid there is not more relationship chance. They will also be fresh out of an A and the fog and still have done NO work on themselves. Getting them out of the A and the fog is just a step, not the endgame.

Keep at it!