Amoeba Whisperer: "Stay in your OWN Petrie Dish!"

[GoatGal]

Grrrrrrrrrrr.. I wrote a nice long reply and lost it in the ozone. Again.

I am going to edit it in my head and post later...
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Rest assured, Cadet and Job, if I have learned one lesson in DBing, it's:
"Don't believe anything they say, and only half of what you see."

GOT IT!


His communication is so bogged down with MLC gobblety-gook, it's incomprehensible anyway.

I am trying to comb through for some "kernels" that might be significant, or not.

However, I'm clear on the fact that this is just "blah-blah-blah" spewing weirdness from him.
Hot and cold as it's been lately.
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All I *think* I *know* is that he wants *something* and apparently isn't willing to ask for it.

There *seems* to be an element of pressure involved, maybe a timeline?

If he didn't want/need something, believe me, he would NOT be asking to "talk" about anything!
This is the Master of Avoidance, remember?

But he did say "We have time" which implies there *might* be some sense of urgency there.

Maybe someone (therapist, friend he's freeloading with), is giving him pressure to get an idea of where he stands?

Because he sure doesn't seem to be willing to set the stage for a real conversation, by way of being kind and willing to understand how I might feel, as evidenced by the texting nastiness.

(Yes--- I know he's incapable of doing this ^^^, which is why his wanting to "talk" is weird!)

In any case, for whatever reason or agenda, he *seems* to want ME to do all the heavy emotional lifting, without sticking his own neck out.

I understand that I will likely have to be the strong one and extend myself first/more than he will be able to.
But on the other hand, am supposed to put my head willingly on the emotional chopping block? I think not!
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Not trying to mind-read here ^^^, just doing as suggested:

Sifting through the mud for something useful for my "talk" preparation.

A discussion of some sort seems inevitable, so I want to be as prepared as possible, while having NO EXPECTATIONS, positive or negative.
Just keep everything very open--validate, listen, get his POV... and beat it out of there if he starts pushing.

I will prepare for the likelihood that he will want to talk about what's important to HIM, what HE wants, etc.
So far that's been pretty much the case.
No reason to believe that will change.

I must be prepared for him pushing an agenda, because I have a strong sense that's what's driving this.

Any desire to reconcile, come home, or get closer to me isn't supported by his recent actions whatsoever.
Anyway, based on recent history, it would be a huge shock.

But "no expectations"... so we will wait and see.
Just trying to get all my ducks in a row.

Remember the Asperger's.. I'm not so good on the fly with things like this.
It's out of my realm of practice and experience, and he is a very good manipulator.

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And, my dear Cadet, you'll be happy to know that I am feeling more detached at the moment, and this latest bout of weirdness has had me chuckling more than anything else.

I am not feeling upset, angry, or anything else, other than amused. Really!
It's easier to detach when I see him acting like such a whack-o!
It's harder when he's being nice and allowing in that little sliver of hope.

Not being around him makes it SO much better, but I don't think it's helping our R. On the other hand, maybe it is.

Hard to know anything, really.

Thanks guys/gals!
More to come...

---GGG