[gan]

And here's another complexity: when his parents separated in 2005 (when he was ~25) he cut off most contact with them. No one really gets why; there was no abuse or neglect (as far as we know). His siblings continue to have a good relationship with his parents. H contacts his parents once maybe twice a year, though he still interacts with his siblings.

So when I say he is an avoider, I mean he is an AVOIDER. He doesn't work through things. He is capable of being apathetic and walking away from people who love him. I'm not so sure that if I back off and stop the pursuit that he'll turn around and take notice. I've seen a few guys on the forum say that is the "male way" but I'm not sure that applies here. Then again, I watched his mum pursue for years and that got no where either.

So yeah, this whole DB thing feels a bit hopeless at times.