[gan]

Argh. Lost a couple of posts when the board was down. Thanks to Elsa for her (lost) reply.

Quick recap:
- just coming up on 3 months physical separation. When we separated he said he had been "unhappy for years", "didn't know what was going to happen," "there was no OW" but he wanted to "date other people if the opportunity came up"
- I've had very limited contact with H during this time both in the flesh and via e-means (close to cold turkey). H is an avoider so NC works well for him
- we had a loose agreement that separation would last 3 months, though exactly what was supposed to happen at 3 months wasn't really clear
- the 1 time we did meet up (he initiated, 2 wks or so ago) he said he was glad that I seemed happy, said it made him sad to see me because of all the history we shared but volunteered little else. I didn't ask any questions but did end up saying that my preference was still to find a way back together. He said that "separation was a good decision" and he "wasn't asking me to wait for him"
- brief phone call after that in which I learned that he never went through with the legal separation following the suggestion of the MC in our last session

In my last (lost) post I mentioned I was toying with the idea of asking him for a meet-up to discuss where we are at 3 months down the line. I drafted an email but haven't sent it and I continue to have second thoughts about it. Truth be told I decided to try a lighter approach and broke NC last night with a quick text to see if he wanted to get a drink. That was a bit of a test. A few posts ago I was questioning if I should do a 180 and reach out to him given that NC didn't seem to get me anywhere. He declined and didn't offer up an alternative date…so I'll take that as a no.

So here is the thing, I'm 3 months out and I got nothing. I have no idea:
- if he's seeing a councillor to try to work through things (as he said he would)
- if he's "dating" someone (I agree, highly plausible)
- if he consider's our marriage already ended and wants me out of his life for good
- if he needs more time to make a decision

In other words, R talk. I know, I know. R talk is a DB no-no but even my IC seems at a loss for what to do given the little we know of his perspective (we've even talked about inviting him to a session).

Is it unreasonable for me to want to have some sort of update about where things are at??? I really think H could avoid his way out of this to the point that things just fizzle out and he makes a later claim that we should D because there's been no meaningful interaction for so long.