What to do when an EA involved?

[bdub]

The hardest part about all of this is you have to forget about the OM. I know, its almost impossible. I need some vets to back me up on this one. Don't snoop, spy or ask questions. It will only push her away. I'm telling you the day after I stopped snooping I felt SO much better. It will take a little while to convince yourself. Just think that unless she specifically tells you shes going to see OM or talk with OM, there are tons of other friends and family that she could be seeing or talking with. You have to convince yourself of this or you will go crazy and you will not be able to DB.
It may help you to set up some boundaries to protect yourself too. I am horrible with boundaries but I have managed to get her to agree to no phone calls to or from him on our property and he is not to ever be at our house. Before you try to set boundaries do your research. If its not done exactly right, setting boundaries sounds controlling and manipulative. Trust me on that, I have failed miserably with boundaries.