WAH - chapter 3

[LisaB]

Thank you Joe, Ss and pilot for checking in! Great advice!

I was originally going with option #2 (not being home) , as that is what I feel most comfortable with. I just do not like the idea of seeing him in the house we previously shared, going through his stuff and then taking off. That is why I have always avoided him in the past when he came by.

But then as some of you said, it could be a good way to see him, "take his temperature" and show him what he's missing. But it could be super awkward too as pilot mentioned.

Unfortunately there is now another kink in my story...

So if any of you recall, when my WAH left, he ran straight into the arms (legs) of his slutty coworker OW. But then it did not seem that they started a relationship.

Eventually I confronted him that I knew about OW, and he denied it. Then he admitted it vaguely without admitting anything specific. But he told me over and over that they were not dating and would not be dating and had not been dating. He also said that I was "not easily replaced". Well, today I found out that he is still sleeping with her. Turns out that he would like an exclusive relationship, but she is not interested. So he is dating and sleeping with others and I guess she is too. STD city! But he and OW are still spending time together, eating together, sleeping together, snuggling, etc.

So #1, he didn't exactly lie to me, but he tried to deny and cover up that he dumped me and wanted a relationship with OW. He said again and again that it was just over between us and there was not anyone else. Lie. The truth is he did dump me for her, but she doesn't want him for a serious relationship. So technically they are not dating but not because of his choice.

And #2, this confuses me about his behavior toward me. If OW and other girls are in the picture, perhaps I have been misreading his behavior toward me? Why is he still texting me all the time? Is it only because OW doesn't want him for a boyfriend? Am I backup? Or am I just misreading friendzone messages?

I feel crappy finding out this news. I thought it was over between them but I guess he is not getting what he wants with OW, which is a more serious relationship, but he is still seeing her often. In fact, he was with her last night.

At least knowing this makes it easier to decide what to do about this "stuff pick up" situation. And that is avoid him and don't do him any favors.

I am also feeling the same as many of you and don't know if I want him back anyway, especially after learning he is chasing OW still. That just disgusts me.

Yesterday I saw some old friends that I hadn't seen in a while and told them the news that we split up. They were surprised but then said that they never thought he was right for me, that he was too boring and not dynamic enough. Interesting.

I hope you all are having a better day than I am. Thanks for reading my babbling story.
Hugs, Lisa