WAH - chapter 3

[pilot]

Lisa Lisa...Haha, DB forum up just in time. I will tell you why he is using the pretense of wanting to get stuff to see you. And I am fairly certain I am right because I do this all the time. He wants an excuse to see you, but not admit it. He wants an out to keep himself from 'putting himself out there'. Same way even now I may ask my W when she is around if she 'wants to go feed the kids out somewhere'. It means I want to spend time with my W but I do not want to admit to her, so if she says no, it is no sweat off my back. Guys are very fragile when it comes to possible rejection. He does not want you to know what his real motive is, but the flaw in that (even my) plan is that is usually is pretty transparent. During happy times in my M I would use jokes as my cover. If I wanted sex and I was unsure of her mood, I would make a joke or in some way hint at it or make a reference, but if she was not receptive, I could just pretend I really didnt want it. Sure, it would have been much easier, and probably more successful to just ask. But when we get told no, we have to carry that shame if you will.

Your H is in unfriendly mode because he is pouting. Pure and simple. I did the same thing at times. When we as guys do not get our way, we pout. Your H probably was expecting you to jump at the chance to see him, and for all we know, that may be ALL he wanted. Just to know you wanted to see him. Now he is finding out that you are not jumping, and even worse, seem indifferent to the idea of even seeing him. You are turning out to not be a reliable Plan B. And that probably has him bothered. In the past, did your H exhibit this kind of behavior and you would cave or go along with what he wanted? If so, maybe he is resorting to something that used to work for him. I read somewhere that often times WAS will go from indifferent to angry before they get to wanting to work on things. At least something like that.

While I cannot say for certain, I would say your H is worried about where YOU are emotionally at this point. You are not crying over him anymore, and you do not seem to want to see him at his convenience. Next thing you know he will actually have to work at having any kind of relationship with you. As for what to do, I would probably go with 2. As much as I know you want to see him and I do get the whole idea of showing off the new you in front of him, I would make him work a little harder than 'let me get my mail' if he wants an opportunity to see you. Be friendly and upbeat. You can even make plans with him that you will be there. But when you know he is on his way, you can text that you had some last minute plans come up with some new friends and for him to just leave the stuff on the counter and pick up what he needed. Wanna talk about a mind job??? He will be disappointed for sure, regardless of what his intentions really are. I say this because he will have assumed you would be there, and now you are not. So he will have to come up with a new way to see you.

No to 1 because you cannot control when he leaves without being rude.
No to 3 for the reason ss gave. Why should you be running errands for him
No to 4 because who wants to see their S new place


Just my thoughts...