Thanks Heather, I think my D has been going along with what her mom has been telling her, hoping that she would "wake up" and start acting like her mom again. She was shocked when she found out her mom filed as my W only told her she was needing to leave because "this place is unhappy". She didn't understand that her mom was not just wanting to get away but end the family as well. When she has talked to her friends whose parents were D'd, they tell her how their parents fought all the time or that mom or dad met someone else and my D hasn't seen any of that. It was just that her mom just decided she wanted to end things just because she wasn't "happy". She doesn't understand why her mom is doing what she is. She knows how hard I tried to keep our M, how I was willing to try and can't understand why her mom would just walk away.
I think telling her she has choices may be a very good thing. I do know that her mother will fight me if she were to decide she wanted to go to another school. Her mother wants what she wants and really doesn't seem to care about what's best for our D. My W acts out if she doesn't get her way completely anymore and it will be ugly for sure if my D were to tell her she wants to go to a different school. My W has convinced herself that this school is better than the others because she has a friend whose D goes there and does well. That's all the "proof" she needs because it matches what she wants (to live where her friends do). I really can't see my W being able to accept anything but what SHE wants. (He//, look how she acted about a clock!).
I'm going to talk to my D tomorrow and let her know she does have choices. I just hope that things don't get uglier.
