Remember what the vets tell us, daring. We can't fix 'em. Our spouses have to figure it out themselves, it's the only way it'll stick.
My humble advice: Give H more time and space. Get yourself another patience shovel and try not to whack him with it.
H is in depression, and feels hopeless. The times my W was in that position and reached out to me like your H did I would tell her I had faith that she would figure it out... and then do my best to back off and leave her to it.
The better you are doing on your own, the more attractive you will be. But it has to be REAL, not a show... They can tell the difference. This is why the vets tell us to focus on our life.
I still see a lot of positives in your sitch. If you're gonna look at him, look at that!
Have confidence in yourself, you can do this. You ARE doing it!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
