Actually, that whole post you focused everything on her and what SHE did wrong, etc. It just seemed like you blew off your role and responsibility in all this which you just listed.
"1Acts of service"
Did you not help her? If she was feeling fatigued and overworked, that's the number one reason why she didnt' want to have sex. You can't expect her to be in the mood with that many kids.
"2Making sure I have enough sleep, quiet time and rest"
This relates to the first part. Did you not help her? She's a SAHM. It's no wonder she felt overwhelmed.
"3treating the children and I with respect and kind tones- not as obligations"
This is very telling. Is this how you made it feel like? Not a very FunDad if you did.
"4acting as if people are more important than things or money"
Could you elaborate?
"5not making crude sexual comments"
Did you do this? If so, to who and about who?
"6behaving in ways that are appropriate responses to other people's emotions"
Please elaborate.
"7not making crude sexual gropes"
Did you grope her?
"8recognizing that I am your biggest ally instead of your worst nightmare or enemy."
Is this how you treated her? Especially if she turned you down for sex?
"9having positive conversation and emotional connection without expecting it to lead to sex most of the time"
Women (especially your W with the kids) need to FEEL loved and that they matter after giving so much to the kids. Did you ever consider that? You can't always "express" your love in the bedroom. That would be selfish.
"10 realize that I need emotional lubonding before sexual encounters"
That's very straightforward. Did you not understand this?
"11 be responsible, trustworthy and safe"
This relates to the previous two points.
"12 don't provoke kids or I to anger, fear, or shame"
Please elaborate.
"13 don't say someone or their feelings are crazy (their behavior may seem crAzy, reactions may seem extreme but DO NOT hint that others are stupid, crazy or overreacting."
What did you do?
"14 take full responsibility for hurt you cause. Honestly I'm not sure what would help on this because I'm sorry now seems very shallow"
So you haven't made amends yet?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
