Back in January, I was under the impression that my marriage or any relationship with my W was over, other than co-parenting. I was in a good place personally. The direction of my life felt like it had some clarity. Things were going well with my GF, although it was early in our relationship.
Fast forward to the end of March, this is when everything began to shift. My W was struggling, in turn, my kids were struggling. Dealing with these issues, trying to maintain a relationship with my GF and staying on top of my other commitments was not working.
Having a GF made a difficult situation, much more challenging. Honestly, I thought I was good to go. The thing that I didn’t take into consideration, was how much it was going to affect my kids and my relationship with them. My W wanted back in and my kids wanted their family back together. Now I held the keys to making that happen.
It was something that I didn’t want to entertain at first. I was put through hell, and I wasn’t about to be put back into that situation. I had to do a lot of thinking and a lot of praying for some guidance from above. I’d get the thought, “This is what I worked so hard for, to have my family intact. My family deserves this chance. My kids deserve my effort.” I sat on that mindset for a couple of months. In the meantime, my GF and I broke up.
I stepped back to see what my W would do. She had made it clear that she wanted to try this again. Obviously a lot of conversations had taken place and I remained reluctant. During this time, she began attending the church I am a member of. This played a big role, for a couple of reasons. For one, I felt like I was getting beat down, because having a GF and still being married did not align with my belief system. This weighed heavy on me. Secondly, with my W in church, it was beneficial to the spiritual growth of our children. Admittedly, this played the biggest role in my situation shift.
We have already went to a Retrouvaille meeting and will be attending the post sessions again. One of hosting couples has made some recommendations on other avenues to help us on our journey. Hopefully it will keep us motivated and accountable.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
