So my H was texting and contacting me a lot with just little random comments for the past week. I wasn't responding, trying to keep NC as many of you recommended.
Then he texted yesterday telling me again that he had some mail for me and wanted to pick something up from my house, and asked if he could come by my house to drop it off one day this week. I replied that he could come by on Thursday and his stuff was sitting on the table (hinting that I wouldn't be there but that he could come get his stuff).
He started responding more coldly. Very vague. I still didn't know whether he simply wanted his stuff or whether he wanted to see me. I felt if he wanted to see me he should simply ask me to do something together, not use a pretense of dropping off mail. So I told him to just digitally scan the mail and email it to me, and that I would drop off his things at his house when he was at work. To this he responded that I should come by his house Thursday when he was there.
I'm confused. I have been doing NC. It seems to have made him curious. After a while of being curious and friendly he seems to get insecure and start being unfriendly.
So now it seems he is in unfriendly mode. But at the same time I don't get the whole story with picking up and dropping off his things. If he wanted to give me the mail he could always drop it off in my mailbox anytime. If he wanted to pick up his things he could have come by any time in the last 2 weeks (he has keys and I was out of town). So I feel the whole thing is a subtext for seeing me?!? But then why not just ask to see me?
I really don't get it. And the thing I need help with is how to deal with him. He seems to be trying to manipulate me. Tomorrow is when he wants to pick up his things. What do you think I should do?
1. be home and greet him and exchange the items, be friendly and say hi, give him his stuff and then say bye? 2. not be home and let him drop off and pick up the things? 3. drop off his item at his house (while he is at work) since I will be in the neighborhood? 4. drop off his item/pick up my item at his house when he is home in the afternoon? Say hi and bye? See his new place? 5. none of the above
I am super confused. He has been super friendly. Then he became cold. He doesn't really want his item or he could have gotten it any time. So what is this sudden interest in picking up his item and dropping off my mail (that he could scan)? And what do I do about it?
I feel he wants to see me, but he isn't willing to ask me to do something together. So he pretends that he wants to exchange the items. But what does he want? Does he simply want to see me so that he can...? what?
I know this is such a trivial thing but I am very confused and confounded by it.
