More confused than ever

[woundedfool]

First, just checking in to see how things are going?

I want to forgive but I will never be ever to fully forget. It will always be tucked away.

While it is great to forgive. I don't think anyone can be expected to ever forget. I fear in my next relationship that I will indeed have financial conditions attached to it (I am NEVER having a joint bank account or joint debt again). But those are not roadblocks to a relationship. So don't let them be roadblocks to a reconciliation.

It will always be a part of me with or without H. But I don't want it to consume me.

It will, but it is important (and I see you recognize it) that it doesn't consume you.