Living the dream...one day at a time

[wishing, hoping]

Hello peeps...

I really wish I didn't have anxiety issues. I don't know why, but for the past few days my nerves have been really on edge. Nothing has really happened, no new developments...but inside I feel like a nervous wreck. For starters I checked my account balance, and although it is not where I would like it to be, I really have plenty of money for the next week until I get paid again considering I had to get a private babysitter for the last two days for the kids and I went on vacation. But rent is coming due as well as the credit card and I am just freaking myself out. Baby steps right? I am my own worst enemy when it comes to this anxiety stuff. I have to keep reminding myself that I am in control of it all. And I would be much worse off if I was still sharing a bank account with J. Ugh. It just helps to get this stuff off my chest and talk about it. It eases the anxiety.

Speaking of J he has most recently started venting to be about OW's children. He called me yesterday to discuss D's new soccer schedule (which he was angry about that too) and then segwayed into talking about her kids and how our children are so much easier to handle, how her kids need to be constantly entertained, how they argue so much...yadda, yadda. It's only been two months and he's already complaining. How much longer before he calls me up and starts complaining to me about OW?

S told me he heard OW and J talking the other day about OW getting an apartment in our home town. If they are engaged why does she need an apartment? I don't even really want to know. It's nothing but one huge, explosive bag of crazy over there. I hope she does move out only because she has started "picking on" S and she and J gang up on him and do things to irritate him that they think are outlandishly hilarious. I think they are mean-spirited. She is just ugly on the inside and out.

I have done a LOT of praying lately for help from above to keep my side of the street clean and not to worry about the wrong side of the tracks. The three-ring circus is revving up, guys. And they want audience participation, but I think I want my money back. The popcorn is getting stale.

WH