I'm not a vet but I want to remind you that while W has OM, you shouldn't be fulfilling her needs AT ALL. Let her get all that from OM. You need to protect your heart because her letting you rub her legs a little is giving you hope and that might not be healthy. Don't let her lean on you so much. I know that's easier said than done but you're giving a lot... and she's taking a lot.
I got it. A big part of her problem was unmet needs. As far as her EA it may not even be real just me panicing. She is starting to talk to me more and starting to ask me to do things that she had stopped doing.
She asked me to go to the gym and I would take her and go to sleep in the car. Same thing with the pool and stores. She just wanted to spend time together and I would sit in the car.
I thought the same thing at first but a few vets and my therapist all belive she is depressed. She will not seek help so we all agreed that when she is home to make it as pleasant as possible. She was under a tremendous amount of stress and unmet needs. So my wife and I needed to reconnect and that's what I am working on just trying to have fun with my W again.
So I thought the night was through when my wife asked what the schedule for this week looked like. I told her a lot of things were in Flux. She said she wanted to help with things this week because the kids are going back to school. I told her that I was going to take care of it and she didn't need to worry. I then went downstairs and spent time with S11. Later when I came back to our room I told the W she could help any way she wanted, and explained how I had always taken care of these things so she didn't have any extra stress. When I went to bed she seemed a little sad, I think me communicating why I am doing somethings is working. I think she is starting to see that things I did was not to hurt her but to keep her from stress. I don't know how long extra she is staying but any is good.
W spent an extra night saying that she was tired. A few weeks ago she would not have done this. She asked to spend the night and I let her know she didn't need to do this and that this is her home. She said that she didn't do that for me and she said that I needed space. I told her I never asked for space. She said thanks and we talked some before she fell asleep. When I took her home she asked if I was going to the gym. I told her I didn't think so I wanted her to have some space. W called today and asked if I was going to the gym and I told her no again, she said if I was coming could I drop some paint off. I don't want to mind read but does this sound like she is trying to get me to come see her. She has these rules she set up in her head and they make me feel like I am beating my head on a wall.
W called and asked if I was going to the gym because she had left some things at home she needed. She knows that I had a busy afternoon with the kids so trying to 180 from what I use to do I made arraignments for the kids to be taken care of. I took her things to the gym and she seemed happy to see me and wanted to know if I was staying. I had worked out earlier so I just rode a stationary bike. After she was done we went and had a light dinner and I dropped her off at the light rail stop. On my way home she sent me an article that she thought I would like which is new for her. Again I have no clue if he things I am doing are working I know they are not getting any worse.
So I didn't see W today was very busy with kids. She called and spoke with me a few times during the day. She also said again if I was busy she would come and stay with the boys. This is new her wanting to help with the kids. I think she is starting to miss the family.
