Wife dropped the bomb; doing in house separation

[HopeTex]

25: I think the conversation I initiated was a bit of a backslide for me. According to DB rules I probably shouldn't have initiated it. That being said, I think I did minimal damage, by at least not actively pursuing in a "please don't leave" sense. But I do now need to hold strictly to NOT initiating R conversations.

Rock JC: totally agree that I picked the wrong way and timing to make the sleeping arrangements decision.

Ss06: you might be right, I might be misusing the "drop the rope" term, night not apply to what I did. Maybe vets can chime in on what they refer to when they use that term.

Shakspr, I like your perspective on things and yes we seem to be in similar sitches.

Got back tody from my little two night vacation with the kids at the watermark resort. We had a really good time, I am exhausted but proud of being able to handle three little ones all on my own.

Have had some really difficult nights though, tossing and turning and dreading. Afraid of what might be coming. Fear that there is no hope for our M. Fear that I cannot handle things, can't handle the pain of D, can't handle the loneliness, can't handle the kids when I have them on my own, just can't handle. Really negative thinking straight from the Enemy. My God it is terrible when I go through nights like that. Today it broke a bit and I am back on more level ground.

This afternoon and evening I have been engaging the W in conversation about our kids: who their new teachers will be, what their individual challenges are, how our one daughter's gluten situation is going, etc. One, I am trying to be more engaged as a father in general. Two, I really need to be more engaged if we end up D and I want to be able to handle joint custody. Three, it seems like a good safe topic for W and I to discuss, and it is a 180 for her to see in me.

Just wanted to check with the vets and see if initiating this type of conversation was ok, or if it hurts somehow.