Need to figure out how to move forward (thread #4)

[shodan]

My w has tried being nice the past two days, talking about our family in the future tense, etc. she even commented that she wants her engagement ring to be a family heirloom. But I know this is all a part of the act of keeping both the OM and me in play.

She saw her mom yesterday, with whom I have shared everything. Apparently my MIL was very upset yesterday, which my W attributed to my FIL's passing three months ago. I told my W that my MIL is upset about our R, to which my W replied that that is why she is so mad that I shared anything with her. My W wants all of this to be kept between us. I told her that she is not to blame me for this.

My W and my MIL are going for a walk today. I know my MIL will say something to my W about our R. My W will say that I am controlling, that I cannot tell her with whom she can text and that she has been unhappy for years so anything to do with the I OM is not related. I believe my MIL is so upset because yesterday I texted my MIL that I "was done" and could not deal with the lies, cheating and secrets anymore. I know that my comments worry my MIL because she knows that I am the only one trying to keep the M together. She keeps telling me to ignore the A and just focus on myself. While valid feedback, she does not realize how hurt I am by this A and that the OM is an obstacle to any reconciliation.

Maybe my MIL will talk some sense into my W but I doubt it. As I have said before if you saw us together you would not expect anything. She says nice things to me and about me to others. But I know this is a part of her game through which she can keep me close. But I am pulling away more and more. I still am being nice so my kids don't sense anything and I keep my W seeing a safe environment if she comes back but I am being way more terse in our convos, not starting any of them,and somewhat ignoring her when we are together with the kids by focusing on them.

Lots of love to everyone