Your pros are great. For your cons you already have answers lined up. I love how you can recognize which fears/anxieties/hopes come from big Heather and which from little Heather.

You will absolutely make the right decision for the team.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15