Hey guys, thanks for helping me through that. It is amazing the power these people have over our emotions- and xh didn't even do anything for me to ..... wait..... let me think about what I am typing....
OK- yes he DID do something for me to get emotional or crazy feeling. He did A LOT for me to feel that way. I am sure from HIS perspective, if I acted crazy today, he would think I was crazy, because he didn't do anything that second. OK, I kept it together enough to speed out of there (ahem, and enough to strut my stuff to the car, haha!).
I did a little shopping, then came home. Then my night kind-of turned around. I knew the kids would be home soon, so I went to a friends house so I wouldn't have to deal with the internal emotional crazies seeing xh in my vicinity. She is fun and we joked and laughed. The kids called me and were home, so I came home. When I got here, d was down the street at a friends house. She texted me and said her dad wanted me to come over, he had some people over. (He just got divorced and moved in down the street, I knew him and his xw for a couple yrs. She had an affair with his friend... yuck). Normally I would have said no thank you, but, I went. Doing something different- but for ME! It was nice, too. I met some new people, and one couple was good friends with one of my friends.
It was a nice change of pace. On my walk home, my friend (from earlier) called. We joked and laughed; she had me cracking up. It was good. I feel better.
D didn't say too much about her day with her dad since she is with her friend. S never really says much at all. D just said it will "always be weird" but she had a pretty good time. She said h was texting hww the whole time, and she saw her name on his phone. I think that bothered her. She said, "Even you and dad didn't text each other like that. He's obsessed"
She also asked him when he was going to get her school clothes. He asked why, and she said its fair if "mom and dad each get half" and it is not just one person. He said, "Did your mom say that?" She said no and that "mom never says the stuff you think" AND THATS THE TRUTH! I NEVER talked to her about school clothes shopping, other than I will take her. Money, xh, none of that ever even came up. I wasn't going to ask him for a penny. She said she wanted to say, "You only want to spend your money on [hww]" but didn't because she was sitting right next to him. I can't imagine what she thought he'd do/say. It is so funny how these kids think!
Also, my kids have been talking lately about me "dating". D said she had a dream she put me on a dating website and I had tons of dates and she thought it was awesome. Kids said when they got home and I wasn't here, they thought I was out on a date and that they were so excited about it. How weird?! Then when I told s I was going to walk down the street to meet up with some friends, he said, "Go out and have some fun." I wonder if I look pathetic to them?! Here is the best part.... when d was talking about day with xh and him texting hww, she said, "Mom, we need to find you a real man."
God has blessed me with these awesome kids. I am the lucky one to still have a family unit with them. I don't know how anyone could have walked out on them. This family friggin rocks. We have so much fun, love, and laughter. People always say how fun they are and how they love having them around.
I am lucky. And buddy, go back to your text messages... live in dreamland, live in denial, live the lies you believe.... who cares? I have what's important. I know what's important. I am a good person, and I know what it means to be truly happy. I'm sorry you couldn't find it here... but you will only find it inside. I'm sorry you had to leave to learn that- if you ever do learn that.
Sorry, that wasn't addressed to anyone on the forum. It was to, as my mom would call him, Mr. Wonderful.
And to you here on the boards: Thank you for getting me through another day.
