this book scared the bejeepers out of me when I flipped through it in the library. Maybe I took it out of context? I just remember feeling "oh, crap, if we don't DO this stuff then our m. is doomed" with "this stuff" being, I dunno, talking about boundaries (smacks of control to h, doomed to fail for us right now), etc.
Perhaps 'tis time for another look see? sounds like it with two highly respected opinions saying "go for it"!
Putting it on reserve at the library...
Sage
PS We ARE in another place now, though....for sure! Last night h mentioned "I don't think B. is coming for study group on saturday" (meaning that he and J will be alone for whole day) and my internal and external response was "wow, she's really not into studying! I hope she doesn't regret that".
Big moves forward for h (honesty and openness) and Sage (no gut gripping response).
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
