Well, what a difference a day makes. Un-freaking-believable. WAW went to the beach today with my kids and the OM and his son. The same OM that she called the cops on a week ago for assaulting her. I found out through my daughter right before they left.
I backtracked. I texted several times. I've left a few voicemails. I wasn't as detached as I thought. Had everything that happened not happened, I would have been ok. I had drawn that boundary, that she knows about, regarding this relationship progressing. I cannot fathom why anyone would willingly put themselves back into that position if there wasn't more than meets the eye.
The thing is, I had a gut feeling. She mentioned the other day that he called her and explained that his diabetes caused outbursts like that and she sounded very forgiving and accepting of that after the fact.
The fact is though, I put myself out there for comfort towards her, and then we spent a ton of time together and talking after that had all happened and it seemed good. There's quite a few details that makes me see the light now, but at the time, I didn't process it in that way. I had asked her yesterday when she mentioned the whole diabetes thing to her if she would be spending any time with him again and she replied, "Oh I don't know" Knowing that there was nothing definative in the reaction should have been the clue that I needed. The fact that she didn't rule it out immediately should have been the sign that I needed. She had even told me how she justified the reaction on his diabetes to her best friend (who has been weary of OM as well).
I can now see so much clearer as to how she rationalizes her poor choices to gain approval or acceptance. However, after all of this, I am beyond upset. In a text, I just told her to be honest with me and tell me the truth as to what is going on. I know the truth and most reading do too. However, I just want the respect of her to admit it, so that she has to say it.
I have been angry about this all day, and I guess the anger serves as a good way to detach, but my heart is hardening as I type this.
