Thank you as always Sandi, your insight and thoughtfulness will always leave me indebted to you.
I feel like the H you described is my H. He has put it past him, he is remorseful and has moved on from that and only wants me. He is making all the right steps and 'their 6 month life' is eating away at me. I don't let him know this and I know that it all needs to be addressed in counseling. I want to forgive but I will never be ever to fully forget. It will always be tucked away. It will always be a part of me with or without H. But I don't want it to consume me. I don't want it to have to be addressed every day. I need to just give myself time. It's only been a week since we had dinner. It's a fresh wound. I don't need every detail but I do need some so I can see it and move forward.
He tells me he deserves nothing from me. He deserves me to be happy with someone else. He told me the other night, if you can forgive me and find love for me in your heart again enough to try and make this work. I will be the luckiest man in the history of this world.
