Since you mentioned in an early post that you are a child of God, I offer you this. God loves you. Hatred and anger from the MLC spouse are an outpouring of iniquity and spiritual attack.
We on the forum don't know you but WE DO CARE. We are all in this and when you sit there with that knot in your belly and your throat wants to choke you, know that you are not alone.
I offer you this, and suggest that you write it down: 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.