barely holding on - 3

[u-turn]

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the wrong place by being here(DB forum). I feel like others situations are so much worse than my own. But I am here to learn and improve and hopefully someday have a normal m again.

W doesn't want a divorce
I don't want a divorce
W is having a EA/PA that she claims she is wrestling to stop
she has also told me that the PA "isn't there" (I know this is not true)
I want that it to end (duh)and am wrestling with waiting it out
She doesn't wear her wedding ring, I do (she won't until she's committed)
I don't know what she wants!
We live in the same house, sleep in the same bed. We are room mates that raising the kids.

I know that I have not been perfect and neither has she. I know the A is a result of this, but it is a decision that she is making. I don't know what she wants from me without pressuring her for an answer.

I continue to work on myself.

I have thought much about what single life would be for me and I am ok with it. I can see it. I have thought out a day, a week, month and year. I can logistically do it - emotionally I'm not sure.

I do appreciate the support here and it really does help me, but I don't really know how long I can keep this up. I still feel the need to push back and try to get an answer or commitment from her. Is it too early for that (not letting the affair run it's course)? I know she is having some tension with the OM too. Though that seems to come and go all the time.

I'm really confused right now.