What to do when an EA involved?

[Hoju]

I don't think I was a good enough husband to really make her regret leaving, especially not this past year when I became depressed over the fertility issues. To add to that it's like she's changed over night from rushing to become a mother and starting a family, to wanting to become a 21 year old party girl.

Yes, I'm beyond horrified of losing her, I don't know how to live without her. Since I've been 18 my goal was to get through school, get a job, get a house and have kids. It's all we ever wanted, we had a lot of fun along the way, which i recently remembered after flipping through some old face book photos today. It's like having all my goals, my entire life and purpose for being, just ripped out from under me. I love her family and her friends, I absolutely love our house and cats, I loved being married and most of all I love her.

Despite all of that I've tried very hard to not let fear guide my decisions. Can you give me an example of where I'm letting fear guide my decisions? I'm not sure I truly know what it means.