BTW Sam, the one book that totally helped me start to change things with my D is Parenting Without Power Struggles. It's like a DB companion in that it breaks down a lot of what we learn here, forces you to examine your assumptions and attitudes, and teaches you to reframe your expectations so you can interact more lovingly and successfully with your kids. When I think about it, it would make a great piecing handbook.
Good luck with your D. I always say that God knew what he was doing when he gave me just one girl.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
So I let the emotion pass about this "surprise" baby BS and want to say, sex causes babies, practicing responsible birth control can prevent approx 98% of pregnancies. The only thing that's 100% (non-surgical) is abstinence.
Birth control is not just the woman's responsibility. If a man doesn't want to have another baby there are ways to make that happen.
So don't take any more responsibility for their lack of knowledge about the human reproductive system, or birth control or sex.
Asking that question of me more than once would be a deal breaker, I think.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Interesting perspective re: H dating from my very good friend today.
I told her my anxiety and she said "Why would you object? I can't see how you could lose."
She pointed out the grass is NEVER greener and H as he is isn't the most appealing prospect out there for any woman. He might actually get a date but it won't play out in anything like a good way. So I should not object.
Well, when you put it that way...
I'm so fortunate to get so much good advice.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
...but then are you going to be OK with knowing you were the fall-back after he checked out everyone else? What would it take to know you are really his first choice and not the "no one else wanted me so guess I'll go back to Maybell?" I've been struggling with this concept lately and curious to know what you/others think.
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final