Can you tell me why

[Spacey]

Oh yes, that's a good one, too, Hoju. She may be looking for you to actively fight her and push her away, so that she can justify her actions to herself. She doesn't want to be the bad guy in this.

She might even admit it to you, one day! My wife did:

I am sorry. I will always be sorry. I never wanted to be the bad guy or the one to do that to you.

As you know, she hasn't come home yet (or rather, hasn't let me come home yet), but she no longer rages at me.