How to Fling an Otter

[LoisB]

I am in upstate New York right now and it definitely has beautiful areas but also a lot of formally industrial small cities and towns that have seen better days.

Would d20 live with you if you moved or is she going back to school

Yes, that was a concern...there is this very poor, foreclosed houses, run down properties, etc...element and then, the complete opposite with million dollar homes and affluence on Lake Ontario. Some of it is downright depressing. And, Watertown is not a place I would feel comfortable settling in.

D20 would take the year off and re-enroll, either living on campus or off, next year after taking some classes to raise her GPA...maybe a few classes at Syracuse. Syracuse is within driving distance so she could take a few classes part-time as she works her way back to full-time and I get settled down.

As far as D20 is concerned, I see some real positives. I worry about the long winter and her SAD...BUT, I like that she would be so close to so many universities and she could stay home/go to school while she gets this whole sobriety thing. We drove past the Greek houses at Syracuse and I saw her little eyes light up when she saw a bunch of good-looking frat guys drinking, dangerously, on the edge of a roof. She said, "That's where I'd be." Hmmmmmm...So far, this past six months with money issues and big decisions has matured her. I would want her to continue this trend. I like the idea that she could take some part-time classes at Syracuse and still participate, some, in the Greek activities while having her feet planted at home. I think it may be a good situation for her to become more grown up.

We also talked about her anger, on the long, boring drive, and how I have allowed her to fight my battles. She said that it feels strange now that I'm fighting my own battles. She doesn't know where she fits. It's like she is in transition, just as I am...the more I change, the more she is pressured to make changes in herself.