One thing you have to realize is that a WAW in the fog of an affair is the most selfish creature known to man and everything you think you know about showing love and reconciliation is wrong. A gesture such as wearing a ring will most likely have the effect of enraging a WAW if she even notices it. She will think "doesn't that jerk understand I told him we are done?" Or they will see right through it as just that, a gesture. The only thing that gets their attention, because they are selfish, is when they see you do not want or need them and you are moving on with your life. This makes them want what they cannot have and she will pursue you. Right now she knows she can have you back anytime she wants so it doesn't represent a challenge; your neediness is boring and unattractive. You must act as if you do not need her at all and you are glad to have your freedom and wish the best for her new life too. Then go as dark as you can and use the time and space to GAL. Do not initiate contact at all; make her come to you while being polite and giving the impression you have moved on and you are enjoying yourself. I see you have at least one child with her; find an intermediary to go through for handing off child and child related messages so you are not tempted to backslide; isolate her from your friendship. Your first objective is ending her relationship with OM; you do this by putting yourself off limits to her. Simultaneously you need to work on improving yourself and making yourself into the person any woman would be thrilled to have and your W would be a fool to leave.
Me37, W30, S7 Married 10yrs 05/11/04 ILYBINILWY 22/09/13 Disc. OM1 26/09/13 Disc. STD from OM2 03/02/14 Affair Confession 21/06/14
W and I share same apartment (for a few more days). W isn't pushing for D.
