How to Fling an Otter

[LoisB]

Interview went really, really well. I will post more later. I haven't received an official job offer, but feel confident. Money is on the high side of the range, but the relocation allowance is ridiculously small. Have lots to think about.

Some of the areas we saw were beautiful and exactly what I've dreamed about...others, not so much. Drove around Syracuse and D20 was really impressed. Had some good conversations in the car. I was overwhelmed by some changes in her and how she relates to D11. We were back to a solid team.

Also, had a long, firm conversation with my mom before I left. Set up some much-needed boundaries and put my truth out there. It felt good.

I'm glad I went and I'm a bit dreamy that it all really happened. Took my old Jeep to Detroit last weekend and New York's North Country and we are safely home. God is Great. I have something like 50 bucks in the bank. Will figure it out.

Boss All clear?
Fifth All clear, boss.
Boss (unfolding big map across table; talking carefuly) Right ... this is the plan then. At 10:45 .. you, Reg, collect me and Ken in the van, and take us round to the British Jewellery Centre in the High Street. We will arrive outside the British Jewellery Centre at 10:50 a of m. I shall then get out of the car, you Reg, take it and park it back here in Denver Street, right? At 10:51, I shall enter the British Jewellery Centre, where you, Vic, disguised as a customer, will meet me and hand me £5.18.3d. At 10:52, I shall approach the counter and purchase a watch costing £5.18.3d. I shall then give the watch to you, Vic. You'll go straight to Norman's Garage in East Street. You lads continue back up here at 10:56 and we rendezvous in the back room at the Cow and Sickle, at 11:15. All right, any questions?
Larry We don't seem to be doing anything illegal.
Boss What do you mean?
Larry Well ... we're paying for the watch.
Boss (patiently) Yes...
Larry (hesitating) Well... why are we paying for the watch?
Boss (heavily) They wouldn't give it to us if we didn't pay for it, would they... eh?
Larry Look! I don't like this outfit.
Boss Why not?
Larry (at last feeling free to say what's on his mind) Well, we never break the bloody law.
General consternation.
Boss What d'you mean?
Larry Well, look at that bank job last week.
Boss What was wrong with that?
Larry Well having to go in there with a mask on and ask for £15 out of my deposit account; that's what was wrong with it.
Boss Listen! What are you trying to say, Larry?
Larry Couldn't we just steal the watch, Boss
Boss Oh, you dumb cluck! We spent weeks organizing this job. Reg rented a room across the road and filmed the people going in and out every day. Vic spent three weeks looking at watch catalogues...until he knew the price of each one backwards, and now I'm not going to risk the whole raid just for the sake of breaking the law.
Larry Urr... couldn't we park on a double yellow line?
Boss No!
Larry Couldn't we get a dog to foul the foot...
Boss No!
Reg (suddenly going pale) 'Ere, Boss!
Boss What's the matter with you?
Reg I just thought... I left the car on a meter... and it's...
Boss Overdue?
Reg Yes, Boss.
Boss How much?
Reg (quaking) I dunno, Boss... maybe two ... maybe five minutes ...
Boss Five minutes overdue. You fool! You fool! All right ... we've no time to lose. Ken - shave all your hair off, get your passport and meet me at this address in Rio de Janeiro Tuesday night. Vic - go to East Africa, have plastic surgery and meet me there. Reg - go to Canada and work your way south to Nicaragua by July. Larry - you stay here as front man. Give us fifteen minutes then blow the building up. All right, make it fast.
Larry I can't blow the building up.
Boss Why not?
Larry It's illegal.
Boss Oh bloody hell. Well we'd better give ourselves up then.
Reg We can't, Boss.
Boss Why not?
Reg We haven't done anything illegal.
Cut to film. Exterior of bank. Three bandits rush out with swag etc. One of them stops to talk to camera raising mask off head.
Bandit No I think being illegal makes it more exciting.
Second Bandit Yes, I agree. I mean, if you're going to go straight you might as well be a vicar or something.