If you leave a card on the nightstand and it's not mushy, I wouldn't consider it pursuit. It's just recognizing the day for what it has meant to both of you in the past. If you don't want to leave the card, then don't...but don't sit there straddling the fence and asking yourself "should I or should I not". The question should be, would I do this if things were okay. Are you a card person? If you are, then do it w/no strings and/or expectations attached to it. A simple card, nothing more.
As for wearing your ring...that's a personal decision and many of the crisis people don't see it as pursuit. Some will say something about it, but if your h hasn't said anything to you, then wear it.
As for the furniture, he was having a moment of clarity and quite frankly, I don't see your h leaving home unless you rock the boat and put him out. Yes, he may say things about leaving or divorcing you, etc., but his actions state something different. He's comfortable there and you aren't making demands. In his own way, he's trying to keep things civil and wants to keep things on an even keel so that he can get the furniture. He may think that if he offers to go furniture shopping w/you and you get what you want, you'll not rock the boat about what he wants to purchase.
From your posting, he may have been having a moment of clarity, but they are short lived because eventually, they go back into the tunnel for a period of time.
Try not to over analyze what he says or does. You are going to drive yourself crazy doing this. Always remember, actions speak louder than words. Try to keep the focus on you and your family and allow the man upstairs to do his job.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
