WAW not admitting to affair #3

[shodan]

So you were right, I am being played. After a great day with my W during which we had a ton of fun, I discovered that she is still in contact with him. I looked over to her while she was texting and saw his initials again. We had gone to a bonfire on the beach with my kids when I saw this. I looked at her and said that I needed to go. She asked why and became very concerned, I pulled her aside and said that I thought that she had ended things in NYC but clearly I was being played. I told her that I accidentally saw her texts. She said "oh SG, that is nothing, it actually is a funny text about him having a bachelor night with some playboys magazines."

I asked her if she wanted to work on our M. She said yes. I then said that I have some boundaries that we needed to discuss later, which we did when the kids went to bed. I told her that in order to work on our M, she needed to end all contact with the OM, needed to delete his #, change phone numbers and write him an email that said never to contact you ever again.

I said that these are my boundaries and that she does not need to follow them. She is a big girl who can make her own decisions. She laughed and said that there was nothing between them and reiterated that I was controlling and a lunatic. She then said "do you want to control everyone with whom I text?" She also reiterated her point that I did not cry when she asked for a divorce, which showed her that I did not care. She also genuinely seemed to want to work on our M but was scared that my changes would not last and that my controlling with whom she texts is exactly the behavior that is driving her away.


She said that she would go NC with the OM in theory because there is nothing between them but in reality she does not want me to control her and with whom she texts.

I reiterated my point that I am committed to our M and our family but that I will not live in an open marriage. I ended the convo by telling her that we both have a lot to think about.

Do I think she wants to work on our M? Yes

Do I think she is keeping both of us around to see how it all works out? Yes

Do I trust her? NO

What s@cks is that she discussed the future with me this past week, she asked about using our money to buy her mom a condo, she discussed future family vacations and whether we should see my parents at thanksgiving, etc.

And now we r on vacation together until Tuesday...