What made your H change his mind so quickly? That's anyone's guess. But here's something for you to chew on now that OM is the hot topic: what made YOU change YOUR mind so suddenly? As wounded pointed out with your own quotes, it was only a couple/few weeks ago that you were wanting your H and family back. I get where you are. But how did you get there *that fast* - seemingly almost overnight?
My take is that he changed his mind so fast because he got dumped. As many on here know, getting dumped makes one change FAST...
As far as T... I don't see that she changed her mind fast. When someone flat out tells you they are in love with someone else, steals money from you, steals your possessions, threatens to call the police on you, screams and yells at you, doesn't see their children, posts pictures of themselves and the wayward and does the things that this man did... I could EASILY see why her feelings could change. I don't even see a comparison here. I think it shows she is moving toward getting healthy. Why wouldn't she compare the new guy who is treating her like a lady and good woman, to someone that did what he H did? I say good for her.
She IS giving her all. She is giving what she has in her for what she has been through. As Michelle says.. Only T knows when she has had enough.
Now he wants to come back like nothing happened? I say.. HOLD ON BUDDY.. Not so fast.. MY feeling HAVE changed...Even HE admits what he did shouldn't be forgiven. He knows he was a schmuck.
Good for you T... I don't see that your feeling just suddenly just changed. It looks like it was back and forth, back and forth... Some days you wanted him back, some days you were thinking "why do I want someone who treats me like THAT" (that's healthy in my opinion)
You can minimize the chances of him cheating again by making him do the work he needs to do. I am sure you are the type of woman that would love to fill your man's love bank. I remember you saying you want to be the woman who makes her man happy emotionally, physically and sexually, etc... I told you then that you are a good woman. Don't second guess who you are here. Keep this in perspective. HE is the one who needs to take this and run with it. You need to hold back, be observant and let it happen as it does. YOU will know when the time is right for YOU to fill his love bank. Maybe he needs to find out how to fill his own love bank for awhile to understand what this and what marriage is all about. Remember.. He got dumped. Be wary when the WS gets dumped. Many times they run home to what was safe. They say and do all the right things. Help him to grow up here. IF he is a big boy like he is saying, then he should understand that you may not really be able to give your "all" right now.
AND that's okay T... It really is okay. What you are doing is working. Michelle says to do what works. You have him doing all the right things. Don't change what is working. That is silly.
