He said he went from trying to win her back to talking with a counselor at one session that opened his eyes to the fact that she wasn't what he was fighting for.
The above quote is what this is all about T. He got DUMPED. He didn't dump her, she dumped him. Big difference. If he would have dumped her then it would be easier to believe him wanting to be back with you........ BUT that isn't what happened.It has nothing to do with him moving into the apartment. He was getting that apartment to be with HER. Suddenly he was going to be alone when she dumped him.
THAT is why he went through the issue that he is claiming he went through at the apartment. He was dumped and with nobody. He went to counseling to win her back. THAT alone shows how much he wanted her.... He probably pushed her and smothered her until she told him flat out it was over.
THEN he woke up...
He is in panic mode because you let go. Of course he is going to say all the right things. That's what they do when they have nobody else.
You are doing great T. Great I believe you should continue on exactly as you are. Think these things through just as you are doing. He NEEDS to go through this crisis to grow. If you don't allow him to grow, then the next time a young good looking woman comes along, he WILL do the same thing.
You don't have to say things you don't feel. What you are doing is WORKING. Michelle says to do what works.
It isn't up to us what you do. It isn't our decision. This is YOUR decision. Please don't take that he acts like he is Mr. Husband of the year now as he is a changed man. As you can see from this site, when someone is in a crisis they always say they have changed. It's the crisis that pushed them to that. They are in panic and will do ANYTHING to get you back.
Be careful. Be wise. Just as you have been in the last few weeks. What turned this around is he got dumped, you let go and he thought he was going to lose you both if he didn't make a move back to you. Remember, big difference in who did the dumping. If he would have dumped her, then what he is saying would be more believable. That isn't the case here. You are wise to have your guard up. You would be wise to keep it up and let him go through this having to put some work in to earn it. Sit back and let him grow. Be observant.
You don't need to make any decisions right now if you aren't sure. You ARE giving him a chance. You met with him when he asked. You have been honest with him. You called and asked him to meet you when you were out the other night and a number of other small things to show you are still hanging in there. Too much too soon can be fatal to a relationship.
