Yes, be patient and work on yourself; there is nothing you can do to work on your W. Make her do everything to initiate separation/divorce, etc. Don't move out of the house, don't promise to be her friend during separation, don't volunteer to do anything to hurry this along. If this is what she wants then make sure all the effort to get it comes from her. Go limp; for example W says "I want us to live apart", you say "Ok, if that is what you feel you need", but do not do anything further than agreeing.
If there is an OM involved then make it clear that you are no longer going to be her friend as long as she is involved in a relationship with someone else. If she is in the house, no gifts, conversations, acts of service, etc. Treat her like she is a roommate who has their own bf and you have your own life. If she moves out then go dark until the R with the OM is over. Do not initiate contact at all, and be very slow when replying to contact from her, and give short answers. Make her think you are enjoying your new freedom and you were out doing something with a friend/friends; don't give specifics, give impressions. Make her miss your companionship and all that you did for her. She has to think that you do not need her and that you are moving on with your life and not looking back. Do not let her cake eat.
FWIW, I didn't do these things at the beginning of my WAW's BD. I did everything wrong and continued to do so for months and I am in a much worse place now for it.
Me37, W30, S7 Married 10yrs 05/11/04 ILYBINILWY 22/09/13 Disc. OM1 26/09/13 Disc. STD from OM2 03/02/14 Affair Confession 21/06/14
W and I share same apartment (for a few more days). W isn't pushing for D.
